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From the Harry Redknapp interview in today's Sport magazine:
If you were in charge of the country for just one day, Harry, what law would you bring in to improve things?
"Any law? Ooh... well, I think we need to do something at the moment with the gun crime and the knife crime..."
Corruption's a bit of a problem, too, H.
Arsene Wenger on his midweek red card:
"I was surprised I was sent off for what I said. If the speed limit is 60mph, sometimes you're not caught when you drive 70 and sometimes you're caught when you drive 61. I drove sixty and a half."
Maybe he should just belt-up?
"I wouldn't think I've got a prayer, I really don't," said Harry Redknapp at the weekend, talking about his chances of landing the England job.
I rather suspect spending tonight in a police cell on suspicion of corruption isn't going to have the bookies slashing the odds, either.
P.S. Spotter's badge to KUMB for the headline: We've got Harry Redknapp on H Wing
(You may have to be a West Ham fan of a certain vintage to get that)
So Paul Jewell left Wigan because he'd "taken them as far as he could" and joins Derby County - who've already been taken as far as they can possibly go by someone else. Genius.
Billy Davies on his "parting" from Derby County:
"What's quite ironic on the morning of me parting company with Derby is that I am going to the [BBC] East Midlands [Sports] awards tonight to pick up the coach of the year award."
In a county containing the mighty Leicester (six managers this year, and counting), Nottingham Forest and Peterborough, Billy Davies seems to have a weaker grasp of irony than Alanis Morissette.
Spotted on the front page of the West Ham fansite, Knees Up Mother Brown:
Roll up, roll up for your Chelsea tickets... and then pop over to eBay for your West Ham hooligan memorabilia.
If that's not a recipe for a riot, I don't know what is.
"Did sitting on the bench prepare Scotty [Carson] for being in goal against Croatia, five days after his senior England debut, with the fate of the nation resting on his shoulders?" asks David James, in his Observer column.
A valid point, until that is we arrive at the very next paragraph.
"Gianluigi Buffon made his debut as a 19-year-old in Italy's 1998 World Cup play-off qualifier against Russia and handled the pressure to keep a clean sheet for Italy to reach the finals."
Typical James. Makes one valuable contribution and lets himself down a minute later.
There's no doubt in my mind that had John Terry and Ashley Cole played on Wednesday versus Croatia, England would now be preparing for the Euros, and not preparing to appoint Alan Shearer (please God, tell me that's a wind-up).
So it was more than a little surprising to see both play for the full 90 minutes for Chelsea yesterday, just 72 hours later. Just how injured were they?
1. The manager's umbrella - If the players and half the fans have got to get pissing wet, so has the bloke being paid £2m for 10 days' work a year.
2. Gerrard or Lampard - Don't care which it is, but they blend about as well as a Muller yoghurt and Vodka. Get shot.
3. The FA selection panel - The bloke who runs the Kent FA gets a vote, the FA Chief Executive Brian Barwick doesn't. Arse-covering of the highest order. Make Barwick earn his money and appoint the next boss, and then fire him too if he's as disastrous as McClaren.
4. Jamie Carragher's Passport - I'm not a great admirer of Carragher's ability, and McClaren practically begging him to reconsider retiring was a sacking offence in itself. However, he would have been a much safer option than the woefully out-of-his-depth Lescott, and the only reason he didn't play in both the Russia and Croatia games was the entirely misplaced vanity that led him to declare himself too good to be a mere squad player. Send him to Iraq.
5. David Beckham - Running out well after the rest of the team at half-time; his odious lap of honour at the end of the game. The pompous prick doesn't deserve to join the 100 cap club. Pack him back to Hollywood and never invite him back.
