One of the well-trodden cliches dripping off the tongues of football pundits yesterday was that Newcastle's fans didn't deserve to be relegated. As the camp bloke from The Apprentice says: codshit. They - along with the club's owners, manager and players - got nothing less than they deserved. Here's how the fans contributed to their own downfall:
1. Driving Allardyce out His brand of football may be as attractive as the boiler off of Britain's Got Talent but there's not a cat-in-hell's chance that Big Sam would have taken Newcastle down to the Championship. Remember that when he was sacked - after only eight months - the club was in 11th position and in no danger whatsoever of going down. The vitriol pouring from the stands undoubtedly prompted the fickle Ashley to bundle Allardyce out of the fire exit, setting in motion a chain of events that ended with relegation.
2. The return of King Kev
The Newcastle fans' hopeless devotion to the tactically inept and ever temperamental Keegan drove Ashley to hire one of only two men (the other would come later, of course) who would satisfy the crowd post-Allardyce. The result? An unmitigated disaster. Six wins from 21 games (over the course of two part seasons) was borderline relegation form in itself. His decision to walk out over lack of control over transfers was merely a smokescreen - Keegan knew that Dennis Wise was in charge of recruitment when he signed up. If he wasn't happy with it, why (like Shearer) didn't he insist Wise did one before he took charge?
3. Ashley out
Mike Ashley is a tit. A double D cup tit, at that. But the Newcastle fans' failed attempt to force him out backfired spectacularly. No decent manager was going to wade into the middle of a civil war, resulting in Joe Effin Kinnear being dragged back from the dead (and very nearly sent back there). Transfer money was withheld, meaning Peter Lovenkrands (3 goals from 11 appearances) was the best they could do to help patch up a strikeforce that spends more time on the physio's table than a tub of Deep Heat. They had no spare left back. And they failed to replace the excellent Shay Given, leaving them to make do with Steve Harper, a goalkeeper who is so bad that he only managed 32 starts in 13 years until shortly before Given left.
4. The clamour for Shearer How best to dig yourselves out of a relegation dogfight with only eight games remaining? Yes, call for the man with absolutely f*** all experience of management. Shearer the Messiah duly answered the fans' call and, eight games later, it is patently clear that he most certainly didn't have the answers. One win in eight was the worst win ratio of any Newcastle's four 2008-2009 managers (including doormat Chris Hughton). Bereft of any fresh tactical input, Shearer simply relied on Keegan-like motivational skills. "There are very, very good players that are just lacking in
confidence and it's up to myself and the rest of the staff to get the
best out of them," he said following his appointment. "We are going to need every ounce of effort from the players and the supporters." I've seen more effort in testimonials than Newcastle put into saving themselves in the second-half against Villa, when they failed to even muster a shot on target.
Newcastle fans will blame Ashley, Wise, Kinnear and even Allardyce for their downfall. Perhaps they should take a long hard look at themselves.
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