Footblog

Gary Lineker - once, twice, three times a twat

Not only is his Wotsit-like cheesyness ruining Match of the Day, but now Gary Lineker can't resist dropping ham-fisted puns into a speech at Bobby Robson's memorial.

 "He was a lion of man - no, make that three lions."

Gary, you're a twat. No, make that a complete twat. 

Adebayor is brown bread

The Arsenal animals got so upset with Emmanuel Adebayor running the length of the field to celebrate against them that they decide to throw a wholemeal sandwich at him (remnants of which can be seen bottom left).

What are the Gooners saving up for Adebayor's return to The Emirates? A Caesar Salad?

Matt Le Tissier admits betting scam

It takes a certain level of stupidity to be unable to deliberately hoof a ball out of play from a dead ball situation. It takes quite another to own up to your failed part in said betting scam, years after it took place.

Step forward Matt Le Tissier, a man who's now almost certainly talked himself into an FA, and possibly criminal, charge after admitting he attempted to cash in on a spread-betting scam during his playing days.

According to Sky Sports, Le Twattier writes:

"It was set up nicely. The ball was to be rolled back to me and I would smash it into touch.

"It seemed to be going like clockwork. We kicked off, the ball was tapped to me and I went to hit it out towards Neil Shipperley on the left wing.

"As it was live on television I didn't want to make it too obvious or end up looking like a prat for miscuing the ball so I tried to hit it just over his head. But with so much riding on it I was a bit nervous and didn't give it quite enough welly.

"The problem was that Shipperley knew nothing about the bet and managed to reach it and even head it back into play. Suddenly it was no longer a question of winning money."

Indeed, because the spread was now going against Le Tissier and his fraudster chums, they now had to get the ball out of play as soon as possible to prevent them from running up a nasty debt - as blatant a confession to cheating as you're ever likely to here.

"We stood to lose a lot of cash if it went much longer than 75 seconds before the ball went out.

"I had visions of guys coming to kneecap me. Eventually we got the ball out on 70 seconds. The neutral time meant we had neither won nor lost. I have never tried spread betting since."

Not such a Saint, eh?